Does Couples Therapy Work? 7 Ways it Can Help

Takeaway: When you and your partner have challenges, it can be difficult to know what to do–especially if you feel like you’ve tried everything. For many couples, therapy can be a powerful tool to help strengthen your relationship. In this post, I’ll break down everything you need to know about couples therapy: what it is, who it’s for, and how it can help. 

Couples therapy: It's the table topic, and everyone's got something different to say about it. That's because couples therapy is such a unique experience that rarely resembles the experience of the couple right next to you. So, does couples counseling work? The short answer is yes.

It can be a very effective tool, but positive results and a higher success rate are dependent upon each person and the specific issues within your partnership. The goal is to provide a safe space that is neutral for partners to explore their relationship problems, gain insight, and better communication.

Couples therapy can help you make significant improvements in enhancing understanding and develop healthier relationship patterns. However, sometimes couples counseling may not work, and we often find this in cases of severe relationship distress when one or both partners aren't willing to participate fully.

With that in mind, the success rate increases when couples start counseling sooner rather than later (AKA before things hit the fan). This is recommended because it can prevent problems from escalating and increase the chances of positive outcomes.

Partnerships take hard work, and you may find it challenging to navigate the next steps with your partner. Marriage counseling serves to enhance and fortify partnerships. Here, I'll provide a comprehensive breakdown of couples therapy and marriage counseling, including its definition, its target audience, and the ways in which your relationship can benefit from treatment.

What is couples counseling?

Couples therapy, also known as marriage counseling or marital therapy, aims to help couples resolve conflicts, improve communication patterns, and altogether strengthen the bond between you and your partner. In a safe and structured space, couples can explore their issues with the guidance of a marriage counselor.

Issues such as communication problems, trust issues, sexual difficulties, infidelity, financial conflicts, parenting conflicts (and more) are among some of the most common struggles couples face. The therapist facilitates open dialogue, helps couples gain insight into their patterns of interaction, and assists them in developing more effective ways to relate and talk to each other.

I'll offer detailed insights on the various types of marriage counseling available, the professionals who can provide it, and what you and your partner can anticipate during the therapy process.

Types of couples therapy

One of the many great things about therapy as a whole is that it is catered to the needs of the client, and a couples therapist are able to do so through the use of a variety of therapeutic modalities. This is how effective couples therapy can be accomplished.

When considering couples therapy, it helps to know what to expect from the couples counseling process. This can be done through learning about the therapeutic modalities that are being utilized by therapists. Here are some common ones you might consider learning about for your future marriage counseling sessions.

Gottman Method

The Gottman Method was developed by Drs. John Gottman and Julie Gottman. Their extensive research through observing couples over several decades helped them identify specific behaviors and patterns that contributed to relationship success and specific behaviors and patterns that predict a relationship's demise.

With this in mind, the Gottman Method was designed to help couples build stronger and more fulfilling partnerships by focusing on enhancing friendship, managing conflict, and creating shared meaning. It aims to improve communication, emotional connection, and strengthen a couple's overall bond. The Gottman's practical exercises, assessment tools, and collaborative discussions has empowered couples to cultivate deeper understanding, resolve conflicts effectively, and ultimately create a more satisfying and enduring partnership.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT)

Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples focuses on the emotional bonds between partners. It aims to help couples understand and transform the patterns of interaction that create disconnection. By exploring and addressing the underlying emotional needs and attachment styles of each partner, EFCT helps create a safe and secure base where couples can heal and grow.

With the guidance of the therapist, the couple will learn to identify and express emotions, reframing negative interactions, and develop new ways of relating. With an emphasis on empathy, validation, and attunement to foster deep emotional connection and satisfaction, the goal of EFCT is to help couples create and maintain a secure bond that supports both their emotional well-being and relationship resilience.

Cognitive-Behavioral Couples Therapy (CBCT)

CBCT utilizes elements of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) with a focus on relationship dynamics. CBCT recognizes that thoughts, emotions, and behaviors play significant roles in shaping the quality of a couple's relationship. Therefore, the aim is to identify and modify unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to relationship difficulties. CBCT is great for its ability to target both individual cognitive processes and relational dynamics, which helps couples build stronger foundations and improve their overall well-being.

Imago Relationship Therapy

Imago Therapy is based on the belief that unresolved childhood wounds and unmet needs shape our adult relationships. It aims to help couples understand and heal these wounds by deepening empathy connection, and personal growth. The therapy space is utilized as a safe and structured environment for the couple to explore their past experiences, gain insight into their patterns of interaction, and develop effective communication skills.

Couples are encouraged to actively listen and express their feelings and needs in a non-judgmental and compassionate way. By engaging in this process, couples will learn to be more conscious and intentional in their relationship, foster greater understanding, compassion, and connection.

Types of couples counselors

You may or may not be surprised to hear that there are lots of different types of mental health professionals who can provide couples counseling treatment. It may seem a little confusing at first, but ultimately the main differences stem from the structure of education from one mental health professional to the next.

When choosing a type of therapist, you’ll not only want to pay attention to their educational background, but also to their professional training in a couples counseling therapeutic modality and treatment method. If you’re feeling a little confused, don’t worry, you’re not alone! I’m here to help break down all those fun little acronyms that follow a therapist’s name.

Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC)

Licensed Professional Counselors (LPCs) possess a master's degree in counseling and are equipped to provide therapy to individuals, couples, and families. Their main emphasis lies in counseling and psychotherapy. Furthermore, LPCs may possess additional specialization, training, or certification in a specific modality of couples counseling if they choose to.

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT) possess a master's degree and have expertise in offering therapy specifically tailored to couples and families. Their educational background equips them with comprehensive training in systemic approaches for marriage and family therapy, which emphasizes relationships and the dynamics within families. LMFTs can also provide individual therapy.

Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)

Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSWs) possess a master's degree and receive specialized training in delivering therapy and assistance to individuals, couples, and families. Their educational background in social work equips them with a particular emphasis on understanding the social and environmental elements that influence mental well-being. This means LCSWs are great with providing case management, advocating for their clients, and referring them to community resources when necessary.

Psychologist (Ph.D. or Psy.D.)

Psychologists, who have earned a doctoral degree in psychology or clinical psychology, can hold either a Ph.D. (Doctor of Philosophy) or Psy.D. (Doctor of Psychology) degree. They undergo training in diverse therapeutic modalities. Certain psychologists may specialize in couples therapy or family therapy or possess expertise in understanding relationship dynamics.

Who couples therapy is for

Dealing with issues or struggling with differences in a relationship is not unusual. In fact, sometimes it can be healthy to a limit. However, when things feel like they're getting out of control and there are no solutions in site, it's worth considering how couples therapy and marriage counseling can benefit your relationship. There can often be some skepticism around who is right for couples therapy and at what stage of the relationship it's right for. Here are couples who can benefit from couples therapy or marital therapy.

Married Couples

A married couple may seek marriage counseling for a variety of difficulties within their marriage. This can range from traditional conflict issues to financial or legal issues related to the union of marriage. Marriage counseling sessions can help. Meeting with a marriage counselor can assist married couples with strengthen their bond as they encounter any future marital challenges.

Unmarried Couples

Couples therapy is equally relevant for unmarried couples who are in committed partnerships and seeking to address issues or improve their relationship dynamics. In today's society, many couples have chosen to remain unmarried. However, although subtracting marriage may be a personal choice or something that a couple isn't quite ready for, it certainly doesn't mean they are less susceptible to common relational issues. Couples counseling continues to be a great resource for unmarried couples who are in a serious relationship.

Dating Couples

Even couples who are dating and considering a more serious commitment may benefit from couples therapy. Although it is perhaps less common, it is no less meaningful and valuable to a future you may be considering with another person.

More often, most couples wait for the issues to arise before seeking professional support, and that's not typically recommended. Couples counseling can help them navigate challenges, establish healthy discussion patterns, and set a solid foundation for trust and emotional connection in their future together. It can also help set the stage for a healthier and more fulfilling partnership.

Engaged Couples

Pre-marital counseling is a common form of couples therapy for engaged couples. It focuses on preparing them for marriage, addressing potential conflicts, and enhancing their relationship skills before entering into a lifelong commitment. In addition to that, it can also help engaged couples address any underlying issues or concerns before entering into a lifelong commitment.

Polyamorous Couples

Polyamorous couples can benefit from having a safe and supportive space to explore the unique dynamics and challenges that come with multiple partners. It can help polyamorous couples improve communication skills, establish healthy boundaries, navigate jealousy or insecurity, and foster a deeper understanding of each partner's needs, ultimately promoting greater harmony and satisfaction within the relationship.

Separated or Divorced Couples

Couples who have separated or divorced may seek couples therapy to facilitate co-parenting, resolve ongoing conflicts, or navigate the emotional challenges that may arise from leaving a romantic relationship. Couples counseling can also be very beneficial in assisting couples through a structured divorce or structured separation that is mediated by the therapist with therapeutic approaches in mind.

Same-Sex Couples

Although same-sex couples may encounter the same kind of issues as others on this list, it's important to note that couples therapy is inclusive of same-sex couples! Therapists trained in LGBTQ+ affirmative therapy can provide a safe and supportive environment to address relationship issues, especially those that may be specific to same-sex couples.

What to expect from the couples counseling process

The couples counseling process can vary depending on the therapist's approach and the specific needs of the couple. However, here are some common elements and expectations that you can typically anticipate.

Assessment

At the beginning of therapy, the therapist will conduct an initial assessment/intake to understand the couple's concerns, relationship history, individual backgrounds, and ideas about potential goals for therapy. The first session, and potentially a couple more therapy sessions after that, will primarily consist of this. This assessment may involve interviews, questionnaires, or assessments to gather relevant information during the therapy session. Sometimes this can take more than one session and will depend on how much information is provided.

Goal Setting

Based on the assessment, the therapist may recommend goals or areas of improvement for the couple, as well as talk to the couple about the specific goals they have in mind for their relationship. In doing this, the therapist and the couple will then collaboratively establish goals for therapy. These goals may include resolving conflicts, rebuilding trust, enhancing intimacy, or addressing any other specific issues within the relationship.

Relationship Exploration and Conflict Resolution

The therapist may guide the couple in exploring the underlying dynamics and patterns within the relationship. This may involve examining attachment styles, family influences, or other factors that contribute to the relationship dynamic.

Marriage counseling also often focuses on reducing patterns of conflict and developing effective conflict resolution skills. Upon understanding the relationship more, the therapist will help the couple identify unhealthy patterns, teach active listening techniques, and facilitate constructive ways to express thoughts, emotions, and concerns.

Individual and Couple's Work

While the therapy primarily involves the couple working together, in some cases the therapist may observe that one or both people in the relationship may need to work through individuals challenges. If this is necessary, the therapist may encourage one partner or both to do individual therapy to allow for reflection and personal growth. This can help them reflect on their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to gain insights into themselves and their contribution to the relationship.

Homework and Exercises

The therapist's role is to provide a safe, non-judgmental, and supportive environment for the couple to openly discuss their concerns. They will offer guidance, feedback, and practical tools to help the couple navigate challenges and strengthen their relationship.

In order to make this meaningful, sometimes this will include the therapist assigning homework assignments or exercises to be done between therapy sessions. These assignments are designed to help the couple practice new skills, deepen understanding, and facilitate positive changes outside the therapy room. This step is important because it will show intention and effort.

Duration and Frequency

The length of couples therapy or marriage counseling can vary depending on the specific issues and the progress made. Consistency is very important in this category and will make a difference in the progress if the relationship. Typically, most couples attend weekly sessions or bi-weekly sessions. However, the frequency and duration can be adjusted based on the couple's needs and preferences and the therapist's recommendation.

Does couples counseling work?

Couples therapy is an incredibly valuable tool for addressing so many issues, like conflicts, improving communication, and fostering a healthier connection. Although its effectiveness can vary based on factors like willingness to participate, the expertise of the therapist, and the specific issues being addressed, it can lead to increased relationship satisfaction and improved emotional connection.

Every relationship is unique, but by approaching therapy with an open mind and a commitment to actively participate in the process, you increase the potential for positive outcomes and a stronger partnership.

I'll help you identify the issues that couples counseling can effectively address. From conflict issues to trauma, we'll explore how marriage counseling can help improve and support growth between you and your partner.

7 ways couples therapy can help your relationship

Relationships are complex, ever-evolving journeys filled with both joy and challenges. While love can be a powerful force, maintaining a healthy and fulfilling partnership requires dedication, effort, and effective communication.

This is where couples therapy proves to be a transformative tool to help couples navigate the intricate terrain of their relationship. A study of the effectiveness of couples therapy showed that couples reported a significant decrease in psychological distress, as well as a significant increase in relationship satisfaction. Let's explore the specific ways couples therapy can help your relationship.

Improved Communication

Communication is such an essential and necessary tool in partnerships. It's often necessary in order to deal with or resolve any relationship issue (including the ones listed here). That's why enhancing these skills between you and your partner is so often one of the primary goals of therapy.

Therapists can teach individuals and couples effective techniques, such as active listening, validating one another's feelings, expressing emotions constructively, and resolving conflicts without escalating into arguments. Improved communication can lead to a deeper understanding of each other's needs, wants, and concerns, fostering a healthier and more fulfilling relationship with your partner.

Conflict Resolution

It's not unusual that couples will struggle with having the same conflict over and over again with no hope of a resolution in site. That's typically because couples are attempting to have these discussions without the proper conflict resolution skills in place.

In the therapy space, a therapist can provide a safe and neutral environment for couples to address and resolve conflicts. A therapist can help couples identify underlying issues, explore different perspectives, and develop strategies to resolve conflicts in a productive and respectful manner. Learning effective conflict resolution skills can reduce the frequency and intensity of conflicts, promoting a more harmonious relationship.

Strengthened Emotional Connection

Relationships thrive on emotional connection and intimacy. Therapy can help individuals and couples deepen their emotional bond by exploring and tuning into one another's emotions, needs, and vulnerabilities. There are a variety of ways a therapist can help you and your partner do this. Some of these techniques include emotional attunement, empathy-building exercises, and fostering a sense of safety and trust.

Rebuilding Trust

Trust is a fundamental aspect of any healthy relationship. If trust has been compromised because of one partner or both partners' infidelity, breaches of boundaries, or other issues, it can be really difficult to get through the initial stages of anger, paranoia, and sadness that overtakes the relationship. That's why therapy is crucial in rebuilding trust with your partner. Therapists can guide the process of rebuilding trust by facilitating open and honest conversations, promoting transparency, and assisting with forgiveness and healing.

Enhancing Intimacy and Sexual Satisfaction

Enhancing intimacy and your sex life can so often feel like a very sensitive subject to broach. Feelings sometimes get hurt, our defenses are up, and insecurities arise. Relationship therapy can be very effective at addressing and improving the many facets of intimacy in a relationship. Therapists can help couples explore their desires, needs, and expectations, and develop strategies to improve intimacy and sex talk.

Addressing Individual Issues

We often don't realize that our individual struggles and unresolved personal issues can have a pretty significant impact on the dynamics of a relationship. Therapy provides a platform for individuals to explore their own emotional well-being, heal from the past, manage mental health concerns, and work on personal growth. By addressing these things, therapy indirectly benefits the relationship by promoting self-awareness and personal development.

Relationship Maintenance

Therapy doesn't have to be solely for those in crisis. In fact, your relationship can benefit from therapy even more by taking the proactive step to maintain and strengthen your relationship. Couples can do periodic "check-ins" with a therapist to discuss any new or short term concerns and learn new relationship skills as small or big challenges occur. These preventative sessions can help identify and address potential issues before they escalate, ultimately contributing to a more resilient and satisfying relationship between you and your partner.

Strengthen your connection with the help of a Texas couples therapist today.

As a couples therapist, I understand the difficulty that comes with deciding to face your relationship issues and work toward a more secure attachment and overall healthy marriage. I also understand that relationship issues come in many parts. Often, it's beneficial to do couples work by dissecting these issues through an integrative approach for treatment.

Through a series of couples sessions, together we can assess these issues to more closely understand your whole story and unique relationship dynamics at present. We'll discover the negative behaviors, patterns, and emotional responses that contribute to it, and how to improve your mental wellness for the benefit of your partnership.

Start your growth journey today. Let's talk!